Friday, December 4, 2015

The Bible, Reimagined?

Let's have some fun today and reimagine/summarise some of the books of the Bible. WAIT! Before I have to dodge one rotten Tomato after another, or get dubbed the title of heretic upon me, let me explain myself!! The names given to the books of the Bible are given to them by man, the translators of Scripture, they are not inspired by God. Altering the direct word of God, Scripture itself, that is wrong. Especially in light of Christ's warning in Revelation 20:18-19.

Simply put then, the titles of the books are a way of identifying and very broadly compartmentalising the different segments of Scripture. Also, I am not saying God spoke to me to come up with the alternative titles. No way!

Alright, get ready for some Novel titles.

Rapid fire...


Genesis - The Book of Beginnings

Leviticus - A Guide for Dieting before the Modern Church

Numbers - God Invented Math: A Biblical View on Systems and Numbers

Judges - The Vicious Cycle

Ruth - Spouse Hunting, Providentially

1 & 2 Samuel, 1 & 2 Kings, 1 & 2 Chronicles - The Lord of the Israelites

Nehemiah - Tales from the Broken Realm

Esther - Queen to a Foreign King

Proverbs - Encyclopaedia Wisdomia

Song of Solomon - The Sheepherder Letters 

Isaiah - Prophet with the Burning Lips

Jeremiah - A Life of Tears

Lamentations - A Song of Tears

Daniel - Musings of a Captive Israelite 

Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi - Minor Missives, Immense Implications: An Anthology 


Matthew, Mark, Luke, John - Salvation Incarnate Vols. I-IV

Acts - What Happened After LIGHT Shook the Earth

Romans - Grace & Peace: The Guide to a Biblical Theology

Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians - Church Ministry: The Complete Works

1 & 2 Timothy - Soul Care for a Gentile Son

James - Faith Vs. Works, What Really Works?

1 & 2 Peter - An Idiot's Guide to the Last Days

1, 2, & 3 John - The Apostle of Patmos Trilogy

Revelation - End of the Beginning: Further Up and Further In

There ya have it, a few names reimagined. Have any ideas for the rest of them? Comment below.

Lastly, a special thanks to ZT and KZ for bouncing ideas back and forth!

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