Tuesday, November 17, 2015

The Facebook Four

Since taking the unacceptable sabbatical of 7 months from blog writing, a few things have happened. One of them being the obtaining of a Facebook page. As a way to dive back in, and to show that Facebook is a perfect tool for people watching, I present to you the 4 types of people you probably have in your friends list.

1. The Campaign Manager
You can most easily find this friend when election season comes rolling around. They love defending their favourite republican presidential candidate from every attack of the Liberal media... Problem is, their comments are often overlooked amongst the hordes of people also voicing their opinions via comments. Seems like there could be a more effective way of communication. However, the true zeal of the CM lies in the liking and sharing of posts of a political nature. Before you know it, it's like some Monster devoured the Trumpkin and puked it all over your Newsfeed... Who doesn't love that, right? Well, I love it after I hit the Unfollow button. Clever invention!

2. The Silent Stalker
This is the friend who has an itchy trigger finger and likes every post, photo, and check in you make. While they may have good intentions, it is just a wee bit unsettling. I know everyone is so busy, but maybe taking the time to write a comment in addition to the like would help make things seem a little less creepy, and maybe even show someone why you liked their post! Isn't that the point of social media after, to be social beyond a mere digital grunt of acknowledgement disguised as a thumbs up?

3. The Prayer Warrior
Let's just say there is something egregious going on someplace in America or the wider world, whether large or small in scale, and a friend decides that something must be done about it. So, they write a lengthy prayer out (one so long I think even Spurgeon would be impressed with at least the length). Then they add 40 or so of their friends, including you, to the list of those who should be praying their prayer in front of the entire street corner, umm, I mean public internet.

4. The Graffiti Artist
Lastly, there is the friend who finds something so amazing, they think that their friends who share that common interest must see it too. This is where the graffiti comes in and your friend does one of two things. 1: They will write on your wall so you and all of your friends can see it. Or 2: They will make a post on their timeline and tag you in it, which the rest of your friends will still be able to see. Listen, as much as I appreciate the thought and care that goes into this to spread the love, what happens if someone releases the secret of my love for Unicorns out to the public. Well, it means my dreams of having a Unicorn farm I can pretty much kiss goodbye...

Now, don't even get me started on Group Messaging.

Feel free to chime in on other types of Facebookers below.

No comments:

Post a Comment